Sensual Metamorphosis

A Powerful Testimony

"Doing sensual metamorphosis felt like meeting my true self for the first time. Before I heard about Samantha's program I felt like I was at a breaking point.  I was holding onto so much unresolved pain from the trauma in my youth. It felt like I was torturing myself by reliving it at random moments and it would completely blind me and it would leave me in this anxious state. I am a very insecure person. I have had intimacy issues with all of my relationships. I felt like I needed to please the man I was with at the time. Doing things I didn't like or want to do but just doing it anyways because the thought of speaking up and saying what I truly wanted sounded terrifying. I loved the idea of sex but when it came to actually doing it I felt like a deer in headlights. It felt overcomplicated and I would overthink everything and that would definitely kill the mood. The adult in me would disappear and the child would take over. All I wanted to do was hide. I felt like this fear was taking over my life and I had enough of it. There was no way that I could keep living like this, it just felt way too toxic. I felt so angry and sad with myself. I had this deep frustration that I couldn't connect to my partner during sex and honestly that I couldn't connect with myself on any level. I had no clue of what I wanted and had these feelings of 'I'm f***ing lost". Once I hit the breaking point I tried to find some sexual podcasts to give me any direction of what to do. Shameless sex popped up and coincidentally Samantha was on and she was talking about her program and the audience it was aiming for and it just checked every box for me. It started in a few days and I had this feeling of 'I need to be a part of this right now'. I video chatted with her and just fell in love. Her approach to the program was it's not going to fix you overnight. It takes a ton of work, love, pleasuring, dedication, and overall practice to see true results and even then it's a lifelong practice. Her honesty and transparency just really reassured me that I was making the right choice. 

I felt so nervous and excited to open the e-mail for Module 1. I felt like a student with my pen and notepad just ready to soak in everything. Each two-week portion is dedicated to a certain module that includes a pdf of the topic for that two weeks and an assortment of practices, meditations, videos, journaling prompts etc. She even created an amazing playlist filled with sensual, high vibrational music. I was really impressed at how much content and detail there was. I think it's important to set time for yourself to be absolutely alone. It makes a huge difference in your practice when you feel like you can focus and give it your all without worrying if other people can hear you or focusing on other distractions. I would do these practices for about an hour, 3 to 5 times a week. There's a few practices that made a big difference for me. The journaling was amazing because I felt like I had countless realizations just by letting my words flow out onto paper. The prompts were so thought-provoking that by the end I was able to recognize what I needed emotionally and physically for myself. Then there was the breast massage and every time I did this one I am just absolute zen afterwards and turned on. My breasts feel tingly and a little perky too. It's divine all around. Then the eye gazing, this was very emotional for me as I cried the first few times I did it. I think because it felt almost skeptical at first but then to include the things I actually loved about myself made it easier to believe. It made me aware of how critical I was of myself and a good reminder to be kinder and more nurturing. Lastly, there's module 5 and it's all about worthiness. All of the practices were very focused on you and your pleasure. This whole module made me focus on nurturing myself and making sure that I felt loved and adorned emotionally and physically. When it came time to do the self-pleasure portion it resulted in a cervical orgasm. I have never experienced one but I don't know what else it would be. I felt so emotional and felt like I left my body. There were constant static waves of euphoric bliss rolling over me. I think I was shocked after like "what the hell just happened." haha 

Doing a healthy mix of the practices was just absolutely transformational for me mentally and sexually. Continued practice really shifted how I saw myself and even my boyfriend would make comments about how I carried myself. That I had more confidence behind what I was saying and doing. I think that made me beam inside because I knew all this work I put into myself was starting to do something amazing for me.

Along with the practices you get to do 2 calls during the two weeks. One would be with other women who are doing this course. This was so inspirational because you're with this group of like-minded women who are feeling the same as you. Then we talk and share and just give each other advice with consent and watch each other grow and blossom over the course. There are no judgments only love and support and It felt great to have this beautiful tribe of women that you could connect to and really cheer on. Then you would get a one on one call with Samantha. During these calls you would do a variety of exercises that would really get you to dig for the source of your hurt and really heal it. The sessions really bring out these hidden emotions in you and it takes you by surprise. I think I cried during every single one. Haha For example there was one where you envisioned your inner child and imagined her sitting there with you and I just remember it being super emotional because my youth was traumatic for me. So to be able to picture my younger self and offer her love and be walked through by Sam and heal this broken girl inside of me was emotional and kind of scary at first but at the end I felt 10 pounds lighter. I think my whole life I've always kept the mentality to push forward and carry on and to keep everything in and to conceal my feelings. That I never stopped to recognize that I'm absolutely drained and hurting myself more. I needed to nourish the part of me that needed to be cared for and embrace femininity within myself. This is probably why the worthiness module is my favorite. It taught me that I need to shower myself with love and care. That I need to set boundaries for myself and others to ensure that I can give myself what I need. I think these sessions with Sam are so special because she holds so much space for you with this unconditional love and support. To know that someone is in your corner rooting for you and moving mountains to see you be your best self is so motivating. She was always there with answers and recommendations to any questions I had. I feel so blessed for being able to do this work and have her by my side to help.

I didn't know how toxic it was to hold onto this pain I carried until I was able to address it and let it go. I got to look at my trauma through different narratives and in doing so I felt like each 2-week module I would complete I just felt better and better. I didn't realize how much I changed until I sat there and looked back at the woman I was 4 months ago. How she felt and what was going through her mind. I feel like now when I get panic attacks or moments of high anxiety I can think back to all of the breathing exercises and within a few moments I can breathe regularly and soothe myself to this conscious state of "I am ok" and really believe it. It feels so beautiful to be able to do it myself without needing substance. I feel in tune with my body and I know how to recognize what she is lacking or needs. When before I just felt lost. Like I had no clue on where to start to figure out what I needed. I have always seen myself in an extremely critical light and now pushing myself to take the time in the morning to tell myself I love you and offering myself loving words will start my day in such a positive light. 

Even my sex life is way hotter than what it used to be. Sexually I no longer am ok with being on autopilot. I crave intimacy and emotion and going really slow and getting myself really turned on and staying with that and vocalizing that I need sex and I need it a certain way. I felt like I took the scary out of sex and I was focusing on how good the pleasure felt and doing my continuous breathing as a reminder to go slower and not get carried away in my own thoughts. I feel like I can really melt into the experience of sex with confidence and stay there. I didn't expect my pussy to get wetter either. I always needed a good amount of lube. It would make my boyfriend insecure like he couldn't get me riled up but it was never about him. So I thought it was so crazy that holding back emotionally can affect you physically and how healing is so important. 

I would say this program is for those who truly want to put work and dedication into seeing a difference within them because this course is not easy. It's continuously changing your thinking habits and trying to be as open and vulnerable as you can be with Samantha, other women, and most importantly yourself. That's how you get results. It's about leaning into the uncomfortable but then growing to become comfortable. About continuously showing up for yourself and offering endless love and patience because it's what you deserve. It's an amazing process that is so rewarding at the end. But when it's over you still have to work just as hard as you did when you first started maybe even harder. There are still days where I have doubts and anxiety and moments of unsureness but the difference for me now is I have tools and direction of how to address my feelings and how to search inside myself to self-soothe. I can go back and do my exercises and point out my needs and how to fulfill them. I'm so excited to be able to continue my journey of healing and sexually empowering myself and being the goddess I've always desired to be. If you feel like you're so overwhelmed that you don't know where to start I absolutely recommend starting here as it's the stepping stones to true inner healing and the beautiful start to start to loving yourself."

-Brooke A.